I think about the past and realised that I screwed up way too many times and only with Allah's help did I manage to get to where I am.
I have notes infront of me but I am not reading them. Instead I am crying thinking about what I have lost...knowledge, security, confidence, love.
I know where this path will lead me but I wonder if I am strong enough to persevere.
I feel like the world is against me.
I wonder why you don't understand me.
I keep thinking about whyyyy I fall for the same trick again and again.
I feel stupid, holding onto the past, not willing to let go even though it's so painful. Maybe I am afraid of the future.
I hate introducing myself. It's always fake and embarrassing. I keep mine as short as possible, sometimes I go even as far as introducing myself in dot points. I mean, seriously...I don't care what school you came from or what your favourite color is. I just need to know your name and frankly, after everyone's had their turn I'll only remember them as 'the girl with the pink top', 'the girl who speaks funny', 'the one with big boobs','the girl with the hijab that I want'....
No, don't judge me. I bet you remember people that way too.
Hi, my name is Nadia. I am 21 years old. I live in the present because the past is painful and the future is daunting.
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2 comments:
awww :( i loved that, and you're right about the whole introduction thing, who really cares what colors or things they like?! lol. buti liked your introduction...
introductions are a pain. my face starts blushing and i sound like a moron, introducing myself in point forms.
i liked it too now that i've read it again. just wished i had the guts to say it infront of a group people. writing it is so much easier than getting up and admitting vocally to a group of strangers my own fears.
but they will remember me for sure after an introduction like that!
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