Reverse Dawah

Brothers telling sisters who have just started wearing hijab, and doing their best at covering up; wearing summer dresses with a cardigan and jeans - "You looked better without hijab"

Good one, boys!

flying while muslim

En route to Singapore, on SIA...

Malay muslim flight attendant: Ma'am, can I offer you anything to drink? Coffee, tea, coke, orange juice or white wine?

Me: ?!! apple juice please.

It was Ramadhan, 230am and I had a sticker on the top of my seat, clearly indicating that I requested a Halal meal, as if the hijab is not enough proof that I am muslim. It's sad that the words just robotically escaped from her mouth and she did not stop just before offering me wine.

Of course she is just doing her job and she served me with a smile.

Maybe in her mind, she was contemplating whether she should ask about the wine seeing as to how she has served wine to other muslim passengers before.

On the flight from Dubai to Istanbul, there was an arab couple sitting just infront of us. Husband was in full thobe gear and wife was clad in niqab, baby in tow. Husband drank and drank and drank those alcoholic beverages. Yes, I stared because I had never seen anything like it. I poked my father and he told me not to stare :b

Scanning the Hijab

At Singapore's Changi Airport, their security checks are so tight that after they scan your carry on luggage and make you walk through the metal detector, they stop you and wave their magic wand around your hijab, looking for little elves that may be hiding inside.

I have been through this numerous times and I wish they would go about doing it in a more discreet manner. Once, the security official shouted to her partner to quickly get the magic wand [I have no idea what it's real name really is] to scan my HEAD. On another occasion, I was pulled back after being cleared because I needed to have my scarf scanned.

I do not wear any sort of hair accessory that makes my head look disproportionate so no one ever suspects that I am hiding anything inside. Unfortunately, these officers are just doing their jobs listening to some higher power who thinks its necessary to scan people's heads.

Question: Wouldn't the metal detector detect if there was something metal under my hijab anyways? Also, what does the magic wand actually scan for?


Actually, come to think of it, I remember on my way for Umrah, at an airport ( I don't recall which), all the ladies were brought into a small room where a female security officer made us flip our hijabs over our heads and she made sure that there was nothing inside.

Hijab

So, said girl in previous post decided to ask me a question this afternoon while we were walking across the field towards the dissection room.

she asked what i (or i guess, in general all hijabis) thought about muslimahs who don't wear hijab. She said that if other non muslim girls are viewed as 'cheap' or 'trashy' while wearing tight, short, revealing clothing then would a muslim girl be viewed the same way if she was without hijab?

she also asked if i was forced into wearing hijab and if not, whether i knew of anyone who had been forced to wear it.

so this was my answer: no, i dont think muslim girls without hijabs are cheap or trashy. hijab is a religious duty but, i have seen girls without hijab act better than those with hijab on. no i was not forced into hijab and yes i do know of girls who had been forced into wearing it.

i know my answer could have been alot better but this was what i said at that point in time. i could also have left out the part where i mentioned hijabis acting worse than non hijabis. duh nadia, you're supposed to be painting a good picture of hijabis but yes sometimes i say things that i regret. im sorry! ):

she seemed focussed on only one thing...girls being forced to wear hijab and i felt like she wanted to dramatize the whole hijab issue so i left my answer at that.

i hate how people try to manipulate an issue and turn people against each other. noooo, i like wearing hijab! seriously, it makes me feel safe but i know she will never understand.


also, a friend commented "Wow Nadia, i love how colorful you are today" while I was wearing black abaya, black hijab and black shoes.


i <3 my friends *ehem*

Redefined.

So today I stepped out of the house without eyeliner or lipgloss. No perfume either.

You see, I thought wearing abaya would make me stronger in my faith but then there were all these little things that were holding me back (well, I didn't really figure this out on my own. a little bird educated me).

Some of you might think that light makeup is OK, which is what I used to think/still think (?). But if I was being honest to myself, I will admit that I put on eyeliner to look nice. I don't stink either but I just like how my perfume smells.

A girl friend (note the space) used to comment on how lovely I smelled and imagine what the boys with their raging hormones might think. This very same girl friend is the one who goes and blabs my secrets out loud and how I regret trusting her with these details. She might point out a good looking male to me and I might agree. After that, she starts referring to him as if he is my crush which is obviously a lie. Embarrassing. i am keeping my mouth shut around that girl.

I'm working on the little things, InshaAllah...like oh SOCKS :D


OH, maghrib. bye i need to break my fast.

Just Married!

Lol, no..not really though I wish it was true.


We are watching the same sun! idk...

Sick Sundays

Fever, Cough, Headache, Nauseous --> Ultimate combo

I feel sick..the lady who took my temperature at the masjid almost didn't let me in because of the H1N1 flu going around. However, she changed her mind because my temperature dropped by 0.6degree Celsius when she took it a second time.

I almost wished she had refused me entry because I had to sit through 3 hours of activities that shouldn't be held in a masjid.

Also, when I walked into the masjid, all the ladies looked me up, down and around (lol). Checking out my dress (brandless), my jeans (Target, yo), toe socks, hijab and absence of bling.


Oh, and another weird thing. They had the ladies sitting infront. I mean, forget about all that equality/feminist thing... I actually prefer sitting behind the men.

Ok, here's a brain teaser...

In a crowded room, where can everyone else sit that you can't?

Dot Points -will expand later

• My 2 younger brothers got attacked and punched at the shopping centre just now.
• I was queuing up at Target when my brothers were attacked at Vodafone.
• My family is downstairs playing scrabble.
• My brother just called from Makkah/Madinah (I really have no idea actually where he is) to ask for my abaya size.
• I fit into size S for abaya..totally. What's S in number? He was looking at 52 -54 and said it looked huge.
  

Transsexual in Iran

SBS played 'Transsexual in Iran' yesterday night. This was when I realised I had no idea what the true definition of a trans/bi/homo sexual/gay/ lesbian was.

I have my Stedmans Medical Dictionary infront of me right now.

Transsexual: A person with the external genitalia and secondary sexual characteristics of one gender but whose personal identification and psychosocial configuration are that of the opposite gender.

Bisexual: Having gonads of both sexes or a person who engages in both heterosexual and homosexual activities.

Homosexual: Relating to erotic attraction or activity including sexual congress between people of the same sex.

Gay: A homosexual, especially male.

Lesbian: A homosexual, especially female.

In Iran, it's legal to have a sex change operation if you have been tested and proven to be a transsexual. It is illegal to have homosexual activities.

There was a transsexual who was interviewed and he(pre operation) claimed that it was society's pressure that was forcing him to undergo the operation. If he was in a different country, he would have rights and he would not have to choose between being a male OR a female. He claimed that he would not touch Allah's creation and be happy with his sexual organs ALTHOUGH, it would be a very big sin "to do it from behind."

One year later, she (post operation) made a living out of being a temporary wife, like many other transsexuals. She had been disowned from her family and she could not work elsewhere as she was still being discriminated. She travels to different places and becomes "a temporary wife for an hour or so and this is legal." [I thought the practice of having temporary wives was frowned upon by the Prophet (peace be upon him)? Correct me if Im wrong.]

A government official writes them a letter giving permission for them to wear women clothings while waiting for the operation. This was to avoid being arrested by the morality police.

I thought the whole episode was pretty interesting, I wished it had gone more in depth. Well just sharing...

Hadeeth

Abu Hurayah (RA) said: "I heard the Prophet (SAW) say: The first person to be judged on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who was martyred. He will be brought forth and Allah will remind him of His blessings and he will recognize them.
Then he will be asked, 'What did you do with them?'.
He will say 'I fought for Your sake until I was martyred.'
Allah will say 'You have lied. You only fought so that people would say ,'He is courageous and brave,' and they did say it.'
Then He will order that he be dragged on his face and thrown into the Fire.

Then there will be a man who studied much and taught others and recited the Quran. He will be brought forth and Allah will remind of His blessings and he will recognize them.
Then he will be asked, 'What did you do with them?'
He will say 'I studied much and taught others and recited the Quran for Your sake.'
Allah will say 'You have lied. You studied so that people would say 'He is a great scholar,' and you recited the Quran so that they would say 'He is a qaari,' and they did say it.'
Then He will order that he be dragged on his face and thrown into the Fire.

Then there will be a man to whom Allah gave all types of wealth in abundance. He will be brought forth and Allah will remind him of His blessings and he will recognize them.
Then he will be asked, 'What did you do with them?'
He will say 'I have never seen any way in which You would like money to be spent for Your sake without spending it.'
Allah will say 'You have lied. You did that so people would say 'He is generous' and they did say it.'
Then He will order that he be dragged on his face and thrown into the Fire. "


'O you who believe! Cancel not your charity by reminders of your generosity or by injury- like those who spend their substance to be seen of men, but believe neither in Allah nor the Last Day. They are in parable like a hard barren rock on which is a little soil, on it falls heavy rain which leave it a bare rock. They will able to do nothing with aught they have earned. And Allah guides not those who reject faith.' Quran 2: 264

To remind someone of the charity you have given him cancels out the reward of the charity just like pouring water washes away any trace of soil on the rock. A reminder to avoid boasting and to always serve Allah alone, and not do things for the sake of others or to be seen by others

Moderate Mainstream Muslims

Are you an MMM?

Here's a checklist to help you decide if you're an MMM:

1) You don't pray 5 times a day.

2) You eat anywhere, as long as it's not pork.

3) You have an 'English' name.

4) You are a social drinker.

5) You enjoy clubbing on the weekends.

6) Girls: The school uniform is a blouse and skirt. You make sure your skirt is at least 5 inches above your knee. Guys: Tight shirts, shorts and a bottle of cologne.

7) You don't fast during Ramadan. You're not ready for it yet. But you celebrate Eid like everyone else.

8) Every Friday, you leave office early. As the others head to masjids for Jummah, you go for lunch.

9) You believe in Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

10) You skip Tarawih to head to the nightly Ramadan Bazaar.

11) You skip Eid prayers to get ready and look nice in your Eid clothes.

12) Before you are married, you take wedding pictures with your spouse. You think it's ok to take hijab off and pose with your cheek touching his.

13) You think anyone mentioning 'Free Palestine' is a radical Muslim.

14) The only time you ever entered a Masjid was during a school trip.

15) You like being called a Moderate Muslim.


BULL I TELL YA.
Is there such a thing as being a 'moderate muslim'? I'm sick of that term being used. Ya, compromise your religion so you can be MAINSTREAM. The government wants to reduce religious tension and coins up this derogatory term, encouraging muslims to take their religiousness down a notch so that it won't scare the non muslims. Give me a break. What a shame when I hear Muslims with political power spouting the same phrase. Ah, the things you do for power and cold hard cash.

A muslim who practices his Deen faithfully is NOT a radical Muslim. He is a GOOD muslim. A moderate mainstream muslim is just someone who wants to fit in among the non muslims.

This is My Hijab

(@ Saafir's suggestion. A good reminder for me and everyone else. It says "Let's embrace hijab"....yeah, boys, you too :D navel to knee okay?)

I want to repent but...

while Googling something that someone had shared with me, I came across this awesome text entitled 'I want to repent, but...'
Here is the link for you to download the text: http://www.islamhouse.com/p/51819
The text addresses issues related to repentance and is most useful for those who are hesitant or unsure about repenting.
Proof that this text is an awesome read:

The problem is that many people nowadays do not place their hope and fear in Allaah. They disobey Him by committing all manner of sins, day and night. There are those who are being tested by the idea of regarding sins as insignificant, so you may see one of them regarding certain “minor sins” as inconsequential, so he might say, “What harm can it possibly do if I look at or shake hands with a (non-mahram) woman?” They think nothing of looking at women in magazines and on TV shows. Some of them, when they are told that this is haraam, may even facetiously ask, “So how bad can it be? Is it a major sin or a minor sin ?” Compare this attitude with that reflected in the following reports narrated by Imaam al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him):>Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “You do things which in your eyes are less significant than a hair, but at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), we used to count them as things that could destroy a man.”Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The believer regards his sin as if he were sitting beneath a mountain which he fears may fall on him, whereas the sinner regards his sin as if a fly lands on his nose and he swipes it away.”

Such a great and important matter must necessarily have conditions attached to it. The scholars have described the conditions of repentance, based on the Qur’aan and Sunnah. They include:
Immediate cessation of the sin.
Regret for what is past.
Determination not to return to the sin.
Restitution of victims’ rights, or seeking their forgiveness.


Abu Sa’eed Sa’d ibn Maalik ibn Sinaan al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There was among the people who came before you a man who killed ninety-nine people. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person on earth, and was directed to a hermit, so he went to him, told him that he had killed ninety-nine people, and asked if he could be forgiven.

The hermit said, ‘No,’ so he killed him, thus completing one hundred. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person on earth and was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people, and asked whether he could be forgiven.

The scholar said, ‘Yes, what could possibly come between you and repentance? Go to such-and-such a town, for in it there are people who worship Allaah. Go and worship with them, and do not go back to your own town, for it is a bad place.”

So the man set off, but when he was halfway there, the angel of death came to him, and the angels of mercy and the angels of wrath began to argue over him. The angels of mercy said: ‘He had repented and was seeking Allaah.’ The angels of wrath said: ‘He never did any good thing.’

An angel in human form came to them, and they asked him to decide the matter. He said: ‘Measure the distance between the two lands (his home town and the town he was headed for), and whichever of the two he is closest to is the one to which he belongs.’

So they measured the distance, and found that he was closer to the town for which he had been headed, so the angels of mercy took him.” (Agreed upon). According to a report in al-Saheeh: “The righteous town was a hand-span closer, so he was counted as one of its people.” According to another report in al-Saheeh: “Allaah commanded (the evil town) to move away, and (the righteous town) to move closer, and said: ‘Measure the distance between them,’ and they found him to be a hand-span closer to the righteous town, so he was forgiven.”

Hijabs and Girls.

For me, the hijab is more than just carrying out a religious duty. Over the years, my hijab has transformed into a safety mechanism. I dont know if others feel the same way but my hijab makes me feel protected. Someone commented that when I wear hijab, my face totally cant be seen when viewed from the side.

I turned and gave him a wide smile while saying "And that's just the way I like it."

Back at home, I am not very close to my extended family. My father was the only university graduate from his side of the family and my mother was the only university graduate on her side too. So you know, sibling rivalry within their families exist. What I am going to tell you next involves only family on my dad's side. My maternal cousins are all much older or much younger. There aren't many that are in my age group, mostly boys. On my dad's side however, there are plenty of female cousins, all within my age group. Naturally, people start comparing.

So brains vs. beauty. I wont say that I am more intelligent than the rest of my female cousins but let's just say academically, I have achieved more than them. I also mentioned in a previous post (I think), that I am the only one to wear hijab. I have now been stereotyped as the hijab wearing, religion abiding girl. No room for mistakes for me. I have to be the perfect muslimah. I don't mind this stereotype because in a way, it helps me stay good (:

However, rivalry exists and since my aunts' children lost out in the brains department, they all want to trump me in the beauty department.

I always wear hijab when they come over to my house or when I go over to their homes. Yes, the man who married your father's sister is NOT mahram. I am going to kick the next person who tells me that he is. My aunts always make a big deal of the fact that I have hijab on. They will say "Oh, take it off. He is your uncle. There is no problem." But I refuse and keep my hijab on.
Sometimes, even when the non mahrams leave, my hijab still stays on because...

1) I like hijab.
2) I put effort into ironing my hijab.
3) Not taking it off just for you, who do you think you are?
4) Bad hair day.
5) I know all you want to do is see how I look without hijab and compare me to your daughters.

I know number 5 happens because it HAS happened. Right infront of me. Aunts commenting about my weight, my hair, my body's stats. Like hungry lionesses pouncing on a baby goat. I was dissected and each part of me reviewed ): One time I took off hijab after they all left and one aunt came back up to grab her purse because she forgot it, she saw my colored hair. (ya ya shush about the colored hair. it was a mistake. i got in major big time trouble with my dad so please, dont start nagging too.)
She went like "OHHHH. You colored your hair!! When did you do it? What color is it?" I just gave her a nervous smile and quickly closed the door.

The next day, okay probably that same night, half the extended family knew I had colored hair and that I am really a bad girl under the hijab. totally. *rolls eyes

Pleaseeeee stop comparing me to your daughters. I can't stand it. We are not even in the same leagues. Too different. No basis for comparison. ): You have to be fair when comparing us. You have to imagine me wearing clothes similar to theirs or imagine them wearing clothes similar to mine. My aunts think my fashion sense sucks because when I was like 15, they sneaked a peek of baggy jeans under my abaya. It's ok aunties, I don't mind being ugly in your eyes. Please stop trying to justify your opinion of the way I look. Really, I don't mind me so you shouldn't too. Be glad that your daughters are beautiful, skinny enough to fit into half a pair of skinny jeans and don't look weird with bleached blond hair...I don't really want to look like that so yeah (:

Anyways, my point is, dont be surprised if you see me wearing hijab among my aunts. They're my mahram yes but man, they wont quit checking me out!!

MORMONS

Yikes, there were loud knocks on the door so I went down to check.

We don't lock our screen door so the minute I opened the door, I saw 2 guys in white shirts and black pants, holding the screen door open.

My first thought: S***, I've been discovered.

They said: Do you have 2 minutes to spare to listen to us?

My second thought: Okay, why not?

They then welcomed themselves into my home. OMYGOSH KILL ME NOW I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO TALK TO ME FROM OUTSIDE.

No, I was not going to slam the door into their faces.

They asked: Whats your name?

I said: Nadia

They said: Wow, thats a wonderful name.

They asked: Do you have any religious background at all?

I said: Yeah, Im Muslim.

They said: Excellent!

Blah blah blah, the works of Jesus Christ being carried out by a living prophet, blah blah blah, native americans, blah blah blah, im from sydney hes from arizona, blah blah blah, no i was not brainwashed...i went in search of the truth on my own (Chill, i never said u were brainwashed...defensive much?) here's a free book for you, blah blah blah, can I just say a quick prayer?

I said: Yeah, go ahead.

And then he went on to say a prayer for me. Lol, I thought they were going to pray for themselves. He said may I be blessed for letting them into my house and that I read their book.

I dont know what I should have done? Maybe I should have just said No when they asked if I had time to spare but err, my mouth works on auto mode. I didnt think.

They were real nice and polite though. No, I'm not going to read The Book Of Mormon. I have no time ): I need to read my Quran.

Do you think it would work if Muslims went on a recruiting drive like this?


ps. Where is my stove + oven? Retravision, you lied to me.

Sharing what someone shared with me.

Surat Al-Kahf (The Cave) - سورة الكهف

Muhsin Khan

: Musa (Moses) said to him (Khidr) "May I follow you so that you teach me something of that knowledge (guidance and true path) which you have been taught (by Allah)?"

Muhsin Khan

: He (Khidr) said: "Verily! You will not be able to have patience with me!

Muhsin Khan

: "And how can you have patience about a thing which you know not?"

Muhsin Khan

: Musa (Moses) said: "If Allah will, you will find me patient, and I will not disobey you in aught."

Muhsin Khan

: He (Khidr) said: "Then, if you follow me, ask me not about anything till I myself mention it to you."

Muhsin Khan

: So they both proceeded, till, when they embarked the ship, he (Khidr) scuttled it. Musa (Moses) said: "Have you scuttled it in order to drown its people? Verily, you have committed a thing "Imra" (a Munkar - evil, bad, dreadful thing)."

Muhsin Khan

: He (Khidr) said: "Did I not tell you, that you would not be able to have patience with me?"

Muhsin Khan

: [Musa (Moses)] said: "Call me not to account for what I forgot, and be not hard upon me for my affair (with you)."

Muhsin Khan

: Then they both proceeded, till they met a boy, he (Khidr) killed him. Musa (Moses) said: "Have you killed an innocent person who had killed none? Verily, you have committed a thing "Nukra" (a great Munkar - prohibited, evil, dreadful thing)!"

Muhsin Khan

: (Khidr) said: "Did I not tell you that you can have no patience with me?"

Muhsin Khan

: [Musa (Moses)] said: "If I ask you anything after this, keep me not in your company, you have received an excuse from me."

Muhsin Khan

: Then they both proceeded, till, when they came to the people of a town, they asked them for food, but they refused to entertain them. Then they found therein a wall about to collapse and he (Khidr) set it up straight. [Musa (Moses)] said: If you had wished, surely, you could have taken wages for it!"

Muhsin Khan

: (Khidr) said: "This is the parting between me and you, I will tell you the interpretation of (those) things over which you were unable to hold patience.

Muhsin Khan

: "As for the ship, it belonged to Masakin (poor people) working in the sea. So I wished to make a defective damage in it, as there was a king after them who seized every ship by force.

Muhsin Khan

: "And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared lest he should oppress them by rebellion and disbelief.

Muhsin Khan

: "So we intended that their Lord should change him for them for one better in righteousness and near to mercy.

Muhsin Khan

: "And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the town; and there was under it a treasure belonging to them; and their father was a righteous man, and your Lord intended that they should attain their age of full strength and take out their treasure as a mercy from your Lord. And I did it not of my own accord. That is the interpretation of those (things) over which you could not hold patience."


So, what did you guys get out of reading this? I learnt that sometimes what we perceive to be true may not be actually be right. What we judge as a bad thing to happen to us could in fact be something good in disguise, or it happened to prevent something worst from happening.

Allah knows best (:

Why I am ):

1) I sleep at odd hours and wake up at even more odd hours.

2) I eat one meal a day.

3) I'm gaining weight (see point above).

4) I cleaned my room a few days back and now all my books are on the floor again.

5) I can't see my bed, too many things on it.

6) I am not Saudi.

7) I am only 21, too young.

8) My friend died, killing herself and her unborn child.

9) My wardrobe is no longer color coded.

10) I have been believing without understanding. Now, the journey towards comprehension starts.

11) I need blender + electric mixer + stove + oven (last 2 coming on Wednesday, inshaAllah).

12) I got trumped by Dina, a girl from Egypt.

13) My family ignored me for MacDs.

14) I have an empty photo frame on my table. It says: Friends, through thick and thin.

Thanking Allah.

I am going to try and undo some damage that my previous posts have caused. F is saying that I have turned the girls against him.

After he explained the issue, I realised that I was actually at fault. He told me about what the Prophet had said and I admitted I was wrong. So all is good now.

I rush into things, typing without thinking, saying without reflecting and end up wanting to take back words I have spoken. I am going to try and slow myself down a little. This mouth needs to shut itself.


The other day, I was looking at my reflection and it reminded me of how someone had told me I was not at all pretty, because my eyes were small and my nose was not like hers. I was so upset back then that I forgot I can still see without my glasses, while she's as blind as a bat and what I lack in the nose department, I make up for it in the good complexion department (I kid). What I'm trying to say is, I want to stop letting myself be so easily affected by what others think of me. I want to stop feeling miserable when someone says I'm fat or short or asks me a stupid question like if I can still see when I laugh because my eyes scrunch up.

I want to be able to say Alhamdulillah because I have a head full of hair,a fully functional brain, 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth, fat cheeks, 2 hands, 10 fingers, 2 legs, 10 toes. In other words, I'm complete. I go through life without stopping and saying Alhamdulillah for the things that I have. I forget that all these things can disappear in an instant. I forget that I am probably better off than 75% of the population.

I am going to keep my hair in a hijab, use my brain well and not abuse the IQ that I have, see only halal things, cover my nose at the smell of a man's cologne, speak only of good things, lose the fats in the cheeks, use my hands to carry out meaningful tasks and walk in the path towards Jannah.

If you're reading this, stop and say Alhamdulillah NOW. (:

Reminding you, just in case you forget. I hope Baba Ali didnt copyright that.

What's not to love?

I don't know what to do anymore. How is it that we can be surrounded by people, talking to someone and yet, still feel so lonely inside? It seems like everything I do ends up being wrong, even if I started with good intentions. I feel so small. So very small and insignificant. Have you heard of the saying, 'To the world, you are just one person but to one person, you are the world'? Who is this person..I wonder when will I meet this person? Is this person already in my life, hidden? I wrote my mom a card telling her that she loves more than she is loved, for noone's love compares to hers. Now I hope I did not say the wrong thing. I don't want her to feel unappreciated. If what I wrote to her was true, mothers must be the loneliest people in the world. Giving out love and receiving a minute amount in return. On the subject of love, what IS love? Is it love when you get butterflies in your tummy talking to a guy? Or is it love only when you don't get those butterflies anymore? Is it love if I help with my brother with his exams...and when he does better than me, I feel a slight twinge of sibling rivalry? Is it love when my mother tells me I am too fat and that I should lose weight or no one will like me? But Mother, I want someone who will love me regardless of my weight. Is it love when you wake up each morning and your thoughts are only about one person (rendering you non functional for all other activities of daily living)? Is pre-marital love prohibited??LOL @ pre-marital love. I am so witty and since there is noone to appreciate my wit I shall LOL on my own. I am being cynical there. Don't get me wrong, I am not begging for sympathy, just someone who can clue me in on this marvelously complicated topic. I imagine myself to be the lonely old woman with a bunch of cats, living in a huge mansion...except I don't like cats so maybe switch cats to books. yeah...me and my beautiful mansion. Sucks to you for not loving me...or you could be living in my mansion or coming over for tea. My messenger list is full of people I don't talk to. Friends from school, friends from uni...I've started deleting people. The other day I did an experiment. I put: 'I shaved my head bald!' on my messenger status and suddenly, so many people started IM-ing me asking if I had really done it. Firstly, I wear hijab, why do you care anyways? It's not like youre gona be seeing my bald head. Secondly, you dont even TALK to me but you care about my haircut? Thirdly, you all forgot my birthday. Lastly, go away I'm deleting you from messenger.
Can you tell I am an angsty teenager in this post?

Post Exam

Hi everyone! My exam was sooo difficult but InshaAllah, I will pass. I am very disappointed with myself as I actually planned to score all distinctions this year since it is my repeat year...but...that plan is down the drain now. The exam was worth 20% of my final grade so,...yeah wait and see.

I took a picture of my table, pre exam. I'll put it up soon. LOL, now I have just pushed everything to the floor. My table breathes again.

I used to do voice chats but F discouraged me from doing so. He also said I shouldn't put up pictures of myself on the internet. Yesss, voice is awrah too. So now all my online contacts are bugging me and pestering me to do voice chats. And Im like...I dont do that anymore. They ask WHY.
I just say it's haram and I'm trying to change and be a good muslim.

They keep bugging me and telling me about THEIR viewpoint. Look guys, I really dont care about what YOU think because obviously I've made my decision.

My decision is I'm not going to let you guys listen to my sweet sexy seductive voiceee so QUIT BUGGING ME.

Duh dudes, take a big fat hint and leave me alone.

Ooh, now a dude is asking me about being in LOVE...whether that's haram too. Seriously, he is just picking on me.

I hate this. Why can't people just accept what I want to do??