Hijabs and Girls.

For me, the hijab is more than just carrying out a religious duty. Over the years, my hijab has transformed into a safety mechanism. I dont know if others feel the same way but my hijab makes me feel protected. Someone commented that when I wear hijab, my face totally cant be seen when viewed from the side.

I turned and gave him a wide smile while saying "And that's just the way I like it."

Back at home, I am not very close to my extended family. My father was the only university graduate from his side of the family and my mother was the only university graduate on her side too. So you know, sibling rivalry within their families exist. What I am going to tell you next involves only family on my dad's side. My maternal cousins are all much older or much younger. There aren't many that are in my age group, mostly boys. On my dad's side however, there are plenty of female cousins, all within my age group. Naturally, people start comparing.

So brains vs. beauty. I wont say that I am more intelligent than the rest of my female cousins but let's just say academically, I have achieved more than them. I also mentioned in a previous post (I think), that I am the only one to wear hijab. I have now been stereotyped as the hijab wearing, religion abiding girl. No room for mistakes for me. I have to be the perfect muslimah. I don't mind this stereotype because in a way, it helps me stay good (:

However, rivalry exists and since my aunts' children lost out in the brains department, they all want to trump me in the beauty department.

I always wear hijab when they come over to my house or when I go over to their homes. Yes, the man who married your father's sister is NOT mahram. I am going to kick the next person who tells me that he is. My aunts always make a big deal of the fact that I have hijab on. They will say "Oh, take it off. He is your uncle. There is no problem." But I refuse and keep my hijab on.
Sometimes, even when the non mahrams leave, my hijab still stays on because...

1) I like hijab.
2) I put effort into ironing my hijab.
3) Not taking it off just for you, who do you think you are?
4) Bad hair day.
5) I know all you want to do is see how I look without hijab and compare me to your daughters.

I know number 5 happens because it HAS happened. Right infront of me. Aunts commenting about my weight, my hair, my body's stats. Like hungry lionesses pouncing on a baby goat. I was dissected and each part of me reviewed ): One time I took off hijab after they all left and one aunt came back up to grab her purse because she forgot it, she saw my colored hair. (ya ya shush about the colored hair. it was a mistake. i got in major big time trouble with my dad so please, dont start nagging too.)
She went like "OHHHH. You colored your hair!! When did you do it? What color is it?" I just gave her a nervous smile and quickly closed the door.

The next day, okay probably that same night, half the extended family knew I had colored hair and that I am really a bad girl under the hijab. totally. *rolls eyes

Pleaseeeee stop comparing me to your daughters. I can't stand it. We are not even in the same leagues. Too different. No basis for comparison. ): You have to be fair when comparing us. You have to imagine me wearing clothes similar to theirs or imagine them wearing clothes similar to mine. My aunts think my fashion sense sucks because when I was like 15, they sneaked a peek of baggy jeans under my abaya. It's ok aunties, I don't mind being ugly in your eyes. Please stop trying to justify your opinion of the way I look. Really, I don't mind me so you shouldn't too. Be glad that your daughters are beautiful, skinny enough to fit into half a pair of skinny jeans and don't look weird with bleached blond hair...I don't really want to look like that so yeah (:

Anyways, my point is, dont be surprised if you see me wearing hijab among my aunts. They're my mahram yes but man, they wont quit checking me out!!